7 Tips for Letting Go and Moving On
Sometimes it’s that the people around you and the routines you are used to no longer align with your values. You may find yourself growing apart from someone, and no matter what you do, you may find yourself trying to fit a square peg in a round hole. You may find that when you hang out with them, your values clash, and as time goes on, you’ll probably grow more and more uncomfortable around each other as your needs no longer align.
Sometimes it could be that someone else’s negativity is getting the best of you or that you yourself might be weighed down by too much fear. These heavy feelings can sometimes feel like you are carrying around a backpack full of stones. Living this way can not only make you feel drained and fatigued, almost as if you are trying too hard, but it makes it harder to access your spirit. The spirit likes to move, it likes to feel free and unburdened because it is only in this state that you are light enough to create.
Sometimes it’s just that your needs have changed or you aren’t learning anything new. Something that might have been right for you in the past may not necessarily be right for you in the current moment. If you are going to grow and evolve, you must be willing to realize that you are changing and wanting and needing change. The hardest part can sometimes be accepting your new truth. But before you do this, you must LET GO.
Doing the work of letting go means you are taking a look at what patterns and things in your life are becoming unbearable. This is the best time identify what is trying to crack away and separate to allow our newer self to emerge. You see, this is required so that you can shine!
If you have beliefs and expectations and limitations burdening you (weighing you down like heavy stones), you will never be able to truly live in your gifts, and then you will not be able to serve and be more in spirit.
What do you need to let go of?
Are you trying really hard to work at something?
Anytime you are trying to control something, this is something that you should be working with to learn to let go. When I do readings with people, things tend to surface by priority. Usually people’s most egging questions have to do with either relationships or their career. What I tell them is that once they let go of what is NOT WORKING for them, and they hop back into their spirit and listen, then all the chips will fall into place! Once you align with WHO YOU REALLY ARE, then you are suddenly back in the flow, and the flow will bring you the RIGHT MATE and the RIGHT CAREER!
Most of the relationships we are in are designed to help us shed the beliefs and identities that we do not align with. The relationships (whether it be with friends, family or lovers) where you feel most frustration are where you will be breaking out of those patterns. It is the butterfly breaking out of the cocoon. A lot of times, we think those people are in our way to keep us from our path, but really, they are there to assist us! Our patterns surface so that we are forced to examine them, and it is only when we start to LISTEN to them and WORK with them and then RELEASE them that we are able to make the lens of perception clear.
How do you work with them?
First let me tell you a story about a gentleman who was struggling with his career.
A friend of mine was feeling very anxious and knew that he needed to meditate and do a reading. He had committed himself to taking many healing classes and had a goal of finishing up as soon as possible. As soon as the reading started, two things came through very quickly, “do less” and “ask for support.” Not only was he feeling overwhelmed by all the classes he was taking, but he was also missing his family and spending time with them. Family happened to be one of his highest priorities, and he was overlooking this for the sake of his goal. He later spoke to his wife, who really happens to be his angel, and she had a great solution. She suggested that he just take less classes and take his time studying and focus on the things he loves. This made him re-think things a bit. He was thinking that he was getting the anxious feeling about school because it meant he needed to quit completely, but this wasn’t the case! He wife recognized his passion for alternative medicine and energy work and knew he had a goal to help people and teach one day. He took in her advice and it brought him comfort. He decided to cut back on classes some and focus on his family and also the things that he loved to learn. And then BOOM, within 6 months, he was feeling balanced, happy and fulfilled. He was even asked to teach for the upcoming summer! All he had to do was learn to LET GO of the belief that he had to get it all done now in order to feel happiness. This belief was keeping him stuck in a very unhappy state because it was requiring that he deny himself of some of the highest priorities in his life, namely family and free time to learn things he loves.
Letting go of beliefs that we have about goals can sometimes be hard, but if it is compromising your values and priorities, then it makes the decision to let go much easier. Also, it could very well be that those beliefs you are clinging to are keeping you stuck in a situation that really isn’t you. When you free yourself of those beliefs and use the things that are important to you as a guiding light, then you allow yourself to nourish your well-being and to grow exponentially.
Here are some simple, yet effective ways to let go and move on!
1) Accept your truth- and be thankful for experiences that help to guide you there! Where else would you be without life experience 😉 The only way you can possibly know what you ARE NOT about is by living life and trying things out! When you feel that anxious feeling, that’s your sign that change is a comin’!
2) Have no expectations- Don’t beat yourself up for trying things out and things not working out. Having high expectations and judging and criticizing yourself will only make you feel worse, and it could possibly cause you to have more fear to try things in the future. Truly being thankful for the laughter and the tears is what will help you learn and grow. Having the attitude of acceptance of what was, what is, and what is on the horizon allows you to be more excited about where you’ve come from and what lies ahead for you. It really comes down to FINDING THE STRENGTH TO EMBRACE LIFE CHANGES! As you learn to open up to your inner genie and intuition, you will find that there is always a light shining brightly ahead to get you where you are going! EVERY EXPERIENCE, AND I MEAN EVERY EXPERIENCE IN LIFE HAS VALUE! Taking these experiences in stride and continuing to move forward is what gets you closer to a more positive life!
3) Get some distance- Often the first step in letting go is to take some time out or distance yourself from your current situation. In most cases, when you keep doing the same thing that you’ve been doing all along, you are not able to initiate that much needed change. This may call for you to take a break from a relationship to allow yourself to hear your own thoughts and guidance. People often have their own fears they are dealing with and if you depend on them to give you clear advice or guidance, they may end up tainting it with their own fears. In order to gain any real clarity on a situation, you may need to take a few steps back from the outside world. The best way to do this is to simply take a little break. At some point, your own heart will kick in and you can always come back with a fresh set of eyes on the situation. Often, people who are trying to control the situation or living in fear will really lash out at you for doing this. But if you are going to get any real answers, taking a time out is something to try.
4) Turn attention inwards- Once you have gained that much needed distance and quiet, the next step is to really pull your attention inwards and focus on only those things that can be changed and take control of your life! You get to make all the choices here! If you are always looking outside of yourself to figure out how you fit in or how you can make an impact, you’ll always be satisfying everyone else. Basically, the easiest way to gain clarity is to take a quick review of who you already are, the lifestyle you are already choosing to live, and what makes you feel happy and alive. Then simply take steps to nurture those things and make little positive adjustments until you feel like your current life cannot contain them. This will give you the feeling that it is time to allow those changes and welcome them into your life.
5) Listen to your heart- When you turn inwards, you’ll often find that there is a moment in which you realize that you have been disregarding your own wants and needs for quite some time. The truth of the matter is no one else is responsible for you. It’s very easy, and it’s often the tendency that we blame everyone else for our situation, our parents, friends, teachers, coworkers, the education system, our government, etc. And we hardly ever point the finger back at ourselves. Well, guess what? It’s always your fault because you hold the keys to your destiny. We have been blessed with free will and that means if you want to make a change, it’s up to you. If you feel anxious in your current situation, it’s probably time to LET GO and move on. You are the only person who can make this happen.
6) Focus only on those things that can be changed. Not everything in life is meant to be modified. It’s important to live and allow yourself some freedom to try things, make mistakes and let go of worrying about every little detail. It’s best to pick one thing to change at a time and give it your complete focus. As I started to shift towards a more healthy diet, for example, I started with adding an apple a day to my routine. That was a simple shift that I could add to my day. Slowly, as I felt my stomach improve, I started to focus on adding more vegetables to my diet. I slowly learned how to cook them in healthy ways and more importantly, I learned how to flavor them in ways so that I could enjoy them. If you hit a brick wall with making a change, for instance if you stumble upon something that you just cannot change in the current moment, you might want to try changing the way you think about it. One of my favorite phrases is, THOUGHTS ARE PRAYERS. If you think something, most likely, you are making it a reality. It’s as if you are asking for it! So be very careful about what thoughts you choose to have 😉 If you find yourself having lots of negative thoughts, simply take some time to review all of your options and then re-frame the thought into something you don’t like into a jumping off point for something better. For example, if you have to work at a particular job to make ends meet and this job isn’t your dream job, instead of dwelling on the thought that you hate your job, re-frame your thought and realize that this is simply the job your are blessed with in the moment to help you get closer to your dream. Knowing where you are headed is the most important part. You will see more opportunities that fulfill your heart’s desire this way.
7) When that opportunity presents itself, be prepared to TAKE A CHANCE! There’s no point in denying WHO YOU ARE and being fearful of the next step. When you have clarity about who you are and what your values are, it will make the decision making process that much easier. You will find yourself moving forward without hesitation much faster. Life often presents us with challenges to help guide us toward our truth. These challenges allow us to test our courage and willingness to make positive changes. Focus on what you can change in the moment and set aside any worries about the past or the future. Take things step by step; always baby steps. As you allow yourself to keep moving forward in a positive way, you will start to feel the momentum of your spirit, and at some point you will find yourself moving forward with break-neck speed, hardly even looking back.